Featured

Day 1

This is the post excerpt.

Advertisements

Hello ,

Let me introduce myself quickly, I am Siddhika Awle, I am an aspiring writer. In the hopes of being top notch one fine day. 

I recently quit my job because it was making me super unhappy. Probably because it’s not something I wanted. 

I am a total romantic fool and seem to jot down my feelings which somehow turn in to these cute little poems. Well now you can be the best judge of that!!! 

Let’s start you up!! 

This is one of my first attempts. 

It’s called,

 Let me in

Let me kiss away your sorrows,

Let me kiss away your pain.

I can hold your deepest secrets,

If you promise to do the same.

I will look beyond your beauty,

And I will love all your flaws. 

I will dissolve in you forever, 

Even if it’s a lost cause.

I cannot promise you just the good days,

But the bad ones won’t be so bad.

If you choose to spend your life with me,

I promise you will be glad. 

It is not always feathers and sunshine,

Sometimes it will be grey.

And even in that darkness,

You shall be happy to stay. 

I will share my bed with you,

And every morsel that I eat.

I will always let you win, 

And happily accept my defeat. 

You will be my sugar and all the spice I need,

I wish to spend a lifetime,

With you my dear,  my sweet.


Siddhika awle.

Your life matters !!

images

 

In a world full of mysterys,

She was engulfed in her own predicament.

In her eyes she had sinned too much,

Ashamed; waiting for her testament.

A young flower had gone wild.

Strayed too far away from its leaves.

Too little to know the difference,

She chose too many wrongs.

And all the rights she chose,

Were always adorned with thorns.

For a mind that innocent,

Physical pain was worse than heartily burns.

Life was playing mysterious games,

And she found herself at the same turns.

There are ways to escape agony,

But afraid; that is all she had seen.

The sun that helped her blossom had withered away her kin.

In all her struggles and scars that happened.

She closed her eyes and prayed for it to end.

But exhausted her strength was restrained.

Restrained by her own thoughts of stress,

Her loss of love; the love for herself.

The power of entrusting had failed,

Doing everything by herself had her derailed.

Rather then reaching out she reached within,

Finding the same answers, slowly sinking.

No one ever said how sadness was different.

Different from depression.

She was a victim, a victim of the societies denial.

A victim of a fierce and consuming disability of the mind.

A victim; once and for all. A victim who lost her voice crying for help.

Depression is real.

As real as love, as real as happiness.

As real as it takes lives of innocents

#createawareness #seekhelp

Understand your self worth! Put a stop to shaming. 

Hello guys. 

This post may be very different from what I usually write. But it’s time I open up about my experiences. I know it is a very sensitive topic and I don’t mean to offend anyone. 

This is about me,  and my everyday struggle to bring my self confidence back. After all we are all human,  all we want is to be loved. To always fit in. To be happy. And we all deserve that. 

Mirror mirror on the wall, 

Can you take away those inches and make me look tall? 

Mirror mirror on the wall, 

I now wear a size medium, help me fit in a small. 

I used to be my favorite thing, now that I recall. 

Mirror mirror on the wall,  please turn me back into a doll. 

It’s hard for me, this change. Can you show my family how I feel? 

Mirror mirror on the wall, can you help me cut down my meals?

I wear make up all the time, so I feel pretty inside.

What are these rules the society lays that I absolutely have to abide? 

I am on the heavier side, I know that it can change, 

But why do I need your approval? I do find it strange. 

Mirror mirror on the wall,

Am tired of being called names. 

I am trying to do the best I can. 

Please don’t manipulate me with your games. 

I walk in to a store and love a shirt but it’s never in my  size. 

It kills me inside a store at a time, an ice-cream comforts my despise. 

Mirror mirror on the wall, 

You say you love me and judge me by shape. 

Your choking a superhero slowly, with his own cape. 

To all the mirrors who show me my faults I prefer to be blind. 

I am ashamed of me because of you, am sorry you are my kind. 

Hold on. its not over !!

there is a storm coming in, my heart silently wept.

i vainly dismissed my gut , while its shadows violently crept.

what looked like soft waves approaching the shore.

discreetly turned to the hurricanes core.

devouring me, one emotion every second every day .

changing the season to a dismaying grey.

i am down on my knees, from upbeat to beat up.

trying to keep up, adding coffee to my cup.

one breath at a time, escaping this madness.

i find myself a prisoner surrounded with sadness.

to give it all up or to just start over.

my knowledge seems to ridicule me,

and anger only refuels me.

being angry at the world is certainly not my choice,

the horrors of my present choke up my voice.

i fold my hands in prayer to draw some strength.

one day this shall be over and i will begin again.

 

 

 

 

 

Shambles of society

Most of my life was spent reading between the lines,

i erased some of the meaningful things,

i certainly had lost my spine.

There is more to this monochromatic life,

there is more color beyond the lens.

Not everything in life to us,

does always make greater sense.

The things we do, to feed this superficial ego

inside we all are the same and we all bleed indigo.

I accept no more, these thoughts of weaving pretense.

that drags me too far, away from my sole existence.

I refuse to wear this disguise,

i am uncomfortable being the normal.

I may not fit in, but i refuse to be all formal.

Your needs from me differ from what i want from myself.

I am no longer available to cater at your dispense.

You have build yourself, from the blocks that made my soul.

Displacing my insides, you left me face down to the world.

Your judgement despises me but it cannot hold me down.

I may be broken for a while, i will never be bound.

I will always test my limits, and pounce at every whistle.

You broke me down this one time, you can break me down the second,

I will never back down, not now not till the end.

There is a storm silently cooking, beneath this calm attire,

Despite of all the curve balls, the rage remains the same.

These feeling will only retire,

With a kiss of long longed fame.

i will outshine your boundaries and create a world of my own,

i will stand up to who i am, i will not be another clone.

you dismiss me, by calling me reckless,

while u are the one who left me helpless.

what if my paintbrush was unlike your pen,

it makes me happy, i wont ever repent.

my anger for you has burned me forever,

leaving behind scars and bruises and burns of terror.

i damn you, and i damn your judgement,

i will find an escape from your undying arrogance.

i will carry deep in my heart the light of prudence.

Screenshot_20170507_130357

 

 

 

Struggles!! 

H
ow do you scream for help,  when you have lost your voice. 

How can you choose right when you no more have a choice. 

The compass keeps on the turning, 

My restlessness keeps churning. 

I have to keep my faith, 

But it’s candle’s no more burning. 

It’s time to hibernate I feel, 

Don’t fight the water, just float at will. 

My darkness is beautiful too, 

How else would I see the stars, 

Sometimes the light burns me, 

And I cannot hide my scars. 

I feel like a child, trapped in the world of big decisions.

All I know is to be kind and love without precision.

I have been fighting this battle, of being misunderstood within. 

I no longer want to hide it, am taking it out for a spin. 

I am afraid to be judged for opening my jar of secrets, 

I just want to find company,  who can understand my weakness. 

Why are we human? why are we blessed with intelligence? 

Isn’t it stupid ! we spend the whole life settling every pence. 

We speak so eloquently yet we hush the injustice around,

We dress so modestly and inside we are vulgarly bound. 

What is this expensive education,  when you cannot find a job.

All your life you are brain washed and one day it just stops !

How can i eat a decent meal, when my skills are disregarded? 

When will I get to be myself without being So grounded. 
#realissues #idieeverytimeicry #pennilesswriter #needajob #patienceosrunningout. 

Awaiting a miracle!!! 

Wouldn’t it be wonderful, if we could talk to our soul?

It would lead us to right peices and make our life all whole.

How beautiful it would be to hear your inner voice?

Loud and with clarity, away from this distracting white noise. 

How exceptional would it be,  to find the strength to stand.

There would be no waiting, just grab your own hand. 

It takes me a width of courage, and a glimpse of my blasphemous past.

Here I wait by the sea, for the release of my mast.

It is sad how all my good memories fade away so quick. 

It was all I had,  and it’s gone away in a tick. 

I wish I could hear the writhing, the commotion of my feelings. 

So that I could know better, than hanging by the railings. 

This disconnect is wiping away the map to my horizon,

Outside you may hear my heart beat, inside it is frozen. 

I am not sad or disheartened when I write this,

 I just feel like a small pony, in this world full of big fish. 

I wish I could feel the warmth of my mother’s touch, 

I am all grown up now, I cannot show her where I crutch.

After all,  I am her only unicorn,

The brightest of all her stars that shone. 

Lady. 


My eyes hide secrets, behind the boundaries of its kohl. 

Don’t be surprised if I come across too bold. 

My dreams flow in the silhouette of my careless hair, 

Don’t think I am powerless if I am not fair. 

I carry the heat of the earths core in my womb, 

There is fire that re creates life and that also sets a tomb.

As fearless as I am, I also have a weakness. 

I wish to be loved, with ingenuity and in sickness. 

I drape my confidence in a Saree and it increases in shorts.

I can bake you in the oven and beat you in the courts. 

Don’t test my simplicity, simple doesn’t mean harmless, 

I may not be the queen, I am still a countess. 

Don’t mistaken me for normal,  every lady is fierce and brave. 

If she can show you to your cradle,  she can put you in your grave..